Seriously, Roger

According to Dante's Inferno, hipocrisy is punished in Level 8 of Hell. Should such be the case, Roger Clemens has a secured himself a place deep within the gates of Lucifer (he has made a case for himself in the zones punishing avarice, prodigality, and pride as well). The aging pitcher shared several weeks ago that "I'm failing at retirement. Let's just face it. I'm failing miserably at it." Yet one must question his true motives when he makes comments like, "You put your body through a lot of punishment and then you come up one game short, like we did last year, for me it was a waste of time." Oh, Roger. So many young guys are killing themselves, working their butts off, and many will never see a major league game. But I understand. When you're as amazing as Roger Clemens you don't have to care. You don't even have to like playing. It's perfectly acceptable to not care about the regular season. To consider it a waste of your precious time. To put the baseball world on hold, year after year, for several months while you ponder a return. After all, you're Roger Clemens. You're a legend.
But you went beyond that. Beyond your typical arrogance. Now you claim that, "We get little notes at my foundation about people saying they wish I would make up [my] mind and decide because I am leaving people hanging. I'm not leaving anybody hanging. I don't want to play." Gosh, Roger. You could have fooled me. "Failing miserably at retirement" doesn't suggest at all that you are considering pitching another season. Of course you're not leaving anybody hanging. Just the Astros, Red Sox and Yankees. But no biggie. Take your time. Soak up the media attention. Immerse yourself in the prospect of several more millions to roll around in. "None of the teams are interested in seeing me before May, and that's great," you claim. "I don't have an interest in playing right now in May." God forbid you humble yourself to actually showing up at the beginning of the season, let alone Spring Training. Who would ever want you before May? What crazy team would want some quality pitching for an entire season rather than just half of one?
Roger, you disgust me. Many Sox fans are thrilled at the prospect of Clemens coming back to Boston, but you can count me out. If he does come here, I'll cheer for him. I always cheer for my boys. But I won't like him. And I won't have any respect for him.
In other news, my dad is a doctor and one of his patients knows Dr. Gill, the Red Sox physician. Apparently JD Drew's shoulder is in really bad shape. Ugh. Gotta love those injuries.